Boomerang

Every dart comes back later as thorn for you to tread on. As you sow, so you reap - such a severe lesson so simply put.


If I accept suffering as my penance, will it be more tolerable? For the wrongs I have done, people I have hurt and disappointed , for all the selfishness , I have to see pain as my punishment.

So yes, it seems inexplicable , unreasonable, unjust but the scales have to tip back. There is no one else to blame and no one else to lean on. A catharsis that must be endured knowing that each shard and pang accounts for a folly.

Yet, there is the unmistakeble sliver of doubt. If I had to do it again, would I change anything?

The Pensieve

I let it sleep for awhile
Ignored its cries, and
Let it lie

I blew smoke in its face
When it pricked, just
Waited to fade

Unseen, Slowly, further away
Ebbs out the person
I once was

Then and Now

These are strange times we live in.

And when I say we, I mean us - the generation X of the 90s.

We, who never owned mobiles in colleges and thought denim was the pinnacle of hip. We, who as teenagers scrimped on pocket money only to blow it all up in Archies gifts gallery. Yes, us, who thought Fido Dido , the backstreet boys and coke in a can was 'cool'.
If you have sailed through the last few lines going - huh? then thats probably going to be your reaction to the rest of this blog. But if not, then you know what I am talking of. It all comes back in a flash , doesn't it? Those days of audio cassettes ,Sabatini posters and break dance .

Fast forward a few years into the age that the IT sector catapults urban India into ; where a good many of us enjoy a plush pay packet. So we don't worry these days about spending on insipid frappucinos or the OST of bachna ae haseno just to listen to khuda jaane.

So, whats so strange about that ?
Nothing much.

Just that, given the disparity of spending patterns we have witnessed in a short span of ten years and the ease with which we have slipped into 'yuppiehood', do you feel the incongruity every once in a while?

For example shopping. What a vast difference there is when you compare the mom and pop stores of yore to any uptown boutique. Even calling it a 'shop' is so crass these days. I miss shopping for clothes in those simpler times. All you had to do was walk in and leave the rest to the trusty 'salesman'. This kindly gentleman, now a relic of the past, would size you up, quietly proffer his advice to steer you and quickly proceed to empty the shelves and pile it all up in front of you - all with minimum fuss. So what if a good bit of the stuff bordered on tacky, at least it was not as stressful as shopping in one of today's upscale malls.

Now , I am not a big fan of these new age lifestyle stores. Don't get me wrong, I like pretty things as much as the next gal but the arcane code of conduct in these places just throws me off. What is the point of having a shopping attendant tag me like a shadow as long as I am interested in the five pieces of wares carried by her brand, but looks askance the moment I step out of her zone.

One can learn to make peace with the in-your-face sales or ignore the perfume spritzing but standing up to the eyebrow-arching dragons prowling the halls needs some gumption. You know the distinguished silver-haired gentlemen near the Cartier cufflinks who is exceedingly polite as he surreptiously takes in your handbag sans the LV insignia. His tone has just the right inflection to make you realize your mistake and scurry back to the familiar holds of more sensible and not-so-exclusive goods.

But I am not complaining. In a fairer world, we might have only community stores and set of stamps or ration cards , eh comrade?

Why does one write?

Of all the rages to hit the wired masses since the dawn of the internet, blogging is certainly one of the more unique phenomena. One can understand how social networking, matrimonial, gaming , shopping , porn, discussion forums caught on. All these e-activities are easy, available at a click and the most discerning factor - need minimum and frequently, mindless effort from the participant.

Blogging on the other hand is serious business. My salutions to all you mighty posters of the daily prose. When alternative entertainment is so readily available, it takes a lot of focus to keep your blog afresh. This indulgement by the average joe is indeed a heartening shift of trends.

This is my maiden post, and you might have noticed I am not creeping out of my shell. Its astonishing how bloggers can publicly discuss their lives , names , details and fearlessly open up to the world.

But my admiration is reserved for those lurking in the shadows. The anonymous authors who cannot hide behind a facade of facts. Whose blogs tryto be an interesting read while treading the thin line between obscurity and meaningless drivel.

Which brings me to my question - why do bloggers write? Do they write for the pleasure of a following? - The thrill of an audience who seeks you out regularly to know what you think?
Maybe it is a creative awakening ; an avenue to explore the talents forsaken long ago to make time for entrance exam coaching . Some, I think, blog to checkpoint a fast-paced life - which does make sense. Twenty years down the line one can look back in vivid detail and rejoice in the times well-spent.

Why have I taken the plunge now you might ask. Well.. I am not sure. I think it is an urge to keep that voice inside my head alive. You know the voice that all of us have, the one that has the ridiculous views, blasphemous thoughts and radical opinions. Here's to hoping the voice survives and does not cave in to the more primal instincts of lethargy.