When was the last time you used the word chivalry ? Were you lamenting about its death or indignant that it is still expected in these days of gender equality. The chances are high that your usage was based on a popular and modern interpretation of a word with such beautiful etymology.
Borrowing from Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chivalry), chivalry in the medieval ages was classified into three.
Duties to countrymen and fellow Christians , duties to God and duties to women
The third connotation is the strongest survivor but it is struggling to find patrons to the doctrine. A rare few have it ingrained, but most guys I know don't know and don't care about holding doors open for women.
There are some guys who hold chivalry in reserve for the hot chicks and some who know it oh-so-well but rebel against it.
And who can blame them? It’s all so confusing. Let me explain.
All of us grew up in families where the father was head of the family. We have seen men in the roles of providers and protectors. So somewhere in the sub-conscience we have accepted the man as the boss. But our educated sensibilities try to promote equality towards women , accept them in those very same roles. Realize that they can be independent and capable of taking care of themselves.
Now throw in some expectations of chivalry in the equation and then you will understand the conflict. Why should a man be expected to drop-off a lady colleague first on a late cab ride back home? The same lady whom, his HR tells him, is to be respected and not differentiated against.
It’s unfair you guys say. Probably. Speaking for myself and other women who feel the same way - If you are going to take a shot at women's lib each time before you stretch your hand out to help a lady over a high step, then don't do it.
It is not chivalry if you have any hesitation in doing it.
Having said that, if you are the kind of guy to whom these social graces come easily, my deepest respects to you. I know you don’t have to do it and precisely for that reason, I feel grateful each time a guy waits for me to step out of the lift. It's a tiny gesture and I salute the sublimity that empowers you to make that gesture.
Borrowing from Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chivalry), chivalry in the medieval ages was classified into three.
Duties to countrymen and fellow Christians , duties to God and duties to women
The third connotation is the strongest survivor but it is struggling to find patrons to the doctrine. A rare few have it ingrained, but most guys I know don't know and don't care about holding doors open for women.
There are some guys who hold chivalry in reserve for the hot chicks and some who know it oh-so-well but rebel against it.
And who can blame them? It’s all so confusing. Let me explain.
All of us grew up in families where the father was head of the family. We have seen men in the roles of providers and protectors. So somewhere in the sub-conscience we have accepted the man as the boss. But our educated sensibilities try to promote equality towards women , accept them in those very same roles. Realize that they can be independent and capable of taking care of themselves.
Now throw in some expectations of chivalry in the equation and then you will understand the conflict. Why should a man be expected to drop-off a lady colleague first on a late cab ride back home? The same lady whom, his HR tells him, is to be respected and not differentiated against.
It’s unfair you guys say. Probably. Speaking for myself and other women who feel the same way - If you are going to take a shot at women's lib each time before you stretch your hand out to help a lady over a high step, then don't do it.
It is not chivalry if you have any hesitation in doing it.
Having said that, if you are the kind of guy to whom these social graces come easily, my deepest respects to you. I know you don’t have to do it and precisely for that reason, I feel grateful each time a guy waits for me to step out of the lift. It's a tiny gesture and I salute the sublimity that empowers you to make that gesture.
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